Big heart, Wrong generation
Why bad things keep happening to good people.
Dearest gentle readers, we have been apart for far too long. If you’re wondering if a week is even long enough, it is indeed. (Read it out loud with a British accent. Chefs kiss, right?)
I had this conversation with a friend about having a big heart, and I can’t stop thinking about it. What he meant was don’t be too nice, everyone will take advantage of you, you’ll be left all alone crying. It’s true though. People will take advantage of you, and have you crying all alone by the roadside at 9 pm wondering why bad things happen to good people. Its giving Cinderella, because let’s be honest. The girl was like 18 years old, she could have slapped the shit out of the old stepmom and left to start her own life because the girl was extremely talented. Or she could have just said she’s leaving without the drama and that’s that, but instead she chose to be the maid to her step siblings. She became a princess though, a win is a win.
Whenever Cleo hears the ‘don’t be too nice’ statement, she gets very confused. is she supposed to be Maleficent or the Evil queen? but no, it’s ‘be nice, just don’t be too nice.’ Boy, how the hell is she supposed to do that? Also, she thought she was the normal level nice but was she in for a rude awakening. First there was some guy kept telling her how she was so kind and so sweet, and for the longest time Cleo thought that it was the best compliment she had ever received from a guy, turns out the guy was saying that because she was stupid enough to accommodate him after he did her dirty.
Since she realized that, she started psychoanalyzing her life, her relationships, and friendships, and she couldn’t stop saying damn or WTF every 5 minutes because uum, WTF. She figured her so called ‘friend group’ had a hypocrite who couldn’t keep her mouth shut and tells people who aren’t even in the country stories about her. There’s also that one girl who called it quits on their friendship because her boyfriend said that Cleo is toxic. Cleo is toxic? The boyfriend is the real-life version of Ryle (from Colleen Hoover’s novel/movie It ends with us) and who exactly is she going to come back to when her ‘fairytale’ relationship ends, exactly. The question at hand, however, is,
Will Cleo forgive her?
Why not?
Will she still continue their friendship? I don’t know, she sometimes doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries, but then again even if she doesn’t, will their friendship be the same as it was before?
I like telling my friend Alex that female friendships are so important to the point where he’s so bored of me saying that. He is so anti-friendships. But Girlhood is important. Somebody to spill the tea with, comfort, gossip with, hang out with, I mean, right? Its like a second relationship, only BETTER. But some people are so ready to throw that away for very stupid reasons. Its not being in love sis its stupidity. Also, some friends were really sent from hell because the things that they do and say is diabolical, so I sometimes understand why he’s like no to friends.
♥♥♥♥♥
On that friendship note let’s do a quick therapy sesh, lets do this friendship checklist to find out if you’re friends with people or friends with the devil and that’s why you’re breaking down, okay? Good.
☐ If they know your insecurities, do they keep pointing it out in public? Especially when you look your best, they make a comment like, “Oh my goodness, you are so well dressed today I couldn’t even notice your weird belly.” Or OMG your booty is popping in that dress, I’m sure you wore some pads in your undies.” Hah, the devil.
☐ If I were to judge your friendship based on only your interactions, would I say, “wow, you’re her friend, or her therapist, or her shopping card.?”
☐ When there’s a guy in the picture, are you invisible, non-existent or is it always bye-bye until the next breakup.
☐ Have they every come to say someone said something about you, if so, did they say anything? and if so, why was this person comfortable enough to speak about you with other people if y’all are friends? mmh okay
☐ If you go quiet, do you guys speak? Mmh okay.
☐ When introducing you to people do they use something embarrassing about you like, “this is the girl who was cheated on by her boyfriend and plot twist, her boyfriend was gay.”
In case you’re now wondering, “are we even friends,” do I have news for you. You’re not friends. Take your L
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Back to Cleo. This girl is way too forgiving; she took Jesus’ words a little too seriously because one sorry will have her sobbing at night thinking, “my goodness she was so sorry, omg I love her.” I’m not against the forgiveness part but is she aware you can forgive someone and never talk to them again?
Me: You do know you can forgive someone and never talk to them again right?
Cleo: Say what now?
Me: You know, some people think that they can just cross your boundaries, do the most horrific things and still think they can still have the same access to you as they did before. If I forgive you, that’s that. What is it that I am going back to. Emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, gas-lighting fools? I mean, nobody has pointed a gun to my head and said, “go back to them or I’ll kill you.”
Take a look around, do you see the gun anywhere? You don’t.
Cleo: That’s not forgiveness you’re still mad.
Me: Nope, no bad blood. You could even become the president’s daughter, good for you, also wow, just not in my space. You are in your space, on that side. You cross me, you don’t have the same access to me, are we cool. Yaaasssss
It’s not as if she had done me dirty or anything, I just have strong opinions on a lot of topics. Bottomline is, while I’m writing this, the more I understand the don’t be too nice, because well, I think Cleo speaks for us all. It reminds me of Jenny in Gossip Girl. Season 1 Jenny was extremely nice, until she decided she was done being the nice girl because all she got was insults from the baddies while catching strays from gossip girl who was her brother all along. Shocking right? I understand her turning point because she didn’t deserve that although badgirl era didn’t go well for her either, but you get the point though.
Also I’m not saying “be mean,” at least not to everyone, if someone does you extremely dirty you can decide to be a little mean. Well, that’s my opinion, I told y’all in a different post that I am not a professional therapist, take everything I say with a pinch of salt.
On a final note, Only 20 days to be done with school. Excited much, yes, yes I am.
Enjoy your weekend
xoxo <3333
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