He's just not that into you
"...but I don't mind being a sidechick," said Mitchelle
They say that when a man loves you, he will show you, what they forgot to say was that when a man hates you, he will also show you. Oh wait, they said that too we just chose to ignore it, reason being, probably because we’ve been programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you. Come to think of it, we think that because we are too scared to say one harsh truth that’s staring at us in the face, He just doesn’t like you Kiara, as a matter of fact, he hates you.
Kie has suffered in the hands of these guys, because she chooses to blur things. Is she a little naive? I think so, but she doesn’t think so. Kie noticed this guy from her class Biggie (She never noticed him for 3years in that class), who seemed like he was the guy of her dreams, but truth be told, the only checkbox she ticked was Biggie being 6’0. She fell for his height, because they hadn’t even had a conversation of more than 2 days, they spent most of their time kissing and naked. Fast forward Kie kept wondering whether she had made the wrong decision in getting into a relationship, because most conversations they had were about boobs or sex. “I mean it’s fun and stuff but can we change the topic and talk about politics or something. Not to forget some 2 weeks he didn’t even reach out to me,” she wondered for days. Eventually she called it off during the holidays and life continued.
Months later Kie went back to school and reached out, to make sure there’s no bad blood, after all, they would bump into each in class and aa few other times, no need to make it weird. Biggie decided to visit Kie, and somehow their lips end up locking for a solid 3 minutes until Biggie says, “lets give our relationship another chance, I promise I’ll work on my communication, I’ll be a better man I promise.” Kie says yes hesitantly.
Did she want it? Did she love him?
NO.
“Wait, yes, of course I love him,” Kie thinks out loud, “so why not?”
Suddenly the second phase of the relationship was different. Biggie didn’t want her visiting him, at least not without a call, or at least 3 reasons as to why she’d like to visit. Suddenly she couldn’t express her feelings or ask him questions because he didn’t like being questioned, or ‘arguments’ as he called them. Suddenly, whenever she’d go to his place unannounced, she’d find this girl, Mitchelle, a light skin girl, 6/10 with the jawline of a man, very little eyebrows, a little obese to the point where she walks like she’s heavy and would fall down any minute. I’m a girls girl but her IQ is in the pits of hell.
Was Mitchelle the other girl?
Was she just a friend?
Wait, does just a friend come almost every weekend and take a shower at his place, and use HIS towel?
Does just a friend come to his place at night to cook for him?
These are some of the questions she raised. Of course, he lied. The guy is a pathological liar. He may be the reason Kenyan girls say, “take every minute of your day to fear men. Biggie looked at Kie straight in the eyes and told her, “She didn’t even come to visit me, I don’t even talk to her.” Another time he said, “She came for something from my place.” One time he actually denied her. He bluntly said, “I don’t know her.”
Boy, really?
The HOEDACITY.
Naive Kie believed him though, partly, she thought to herself that if she were her replacement, she’d be at least, I don’t know, HOT. I mean, I thought boys that age like upgrading to prove a point. Something inside Kie kept telling her, “Run before this guy kills you with stress. I mean girl look how puffy your face is.” She stayed. Why? I don’t know. For some reason Mitchelle seemed to enjoy being the other girl. She enjoyed cooking and doing his dishes which Kie would never do because why do wife duties for a person who doesn’t deserve it. She enjoyed welcoming Kie, even inviting her for food. One day Kie had a conversation with her.
Kie: Do you know I’m Biggie’s girlfriend?
Mitchelle: Yes I do.
Kie: You’re here an awful lot of times; it’s giving side chick vibes.
Mitchelle: But I don’t mind being a side chick.
Dear reader, honestly, I try to think about Mitchelle’s POV and I can’t seem to get it. I mean doesn’t she have self-worth? Does she have childhood traumas? That’s why I said, the IQ levels, y’all, it’s low because I promise you it’s not the money. The guy did some illegal business which was a red flag because it’s always the illegal businesses that they don’t know how to manage money. The guy isn’t even handsome, he claims he is, but well, let’s just leave it at that.
Sometimes I think maybe Biggie told her something like, “Oh wait you said Kie was here. She’s just my cousin she likes joking around to see whether my girl has a sense of humor,” or, “She’s just my ex who likes stalking me,” because I refuse to believe she’s that clueless. Anyway, Kie still stayed, by this time Biggie was already planning his exit. He rarely showed up for her, hardly talked to her, he finally broke up with her, after she found him with a girl at his place at 9pm on a random Thursday Thursday, weird right? According to CHATGPT this was all a revenge plot, he wanted to have the upper hand, control, basically he’s what we call a douchebag, a cheater, a manipulator, need I go any further?
After the breakup Kie was devastated and still wanted him, she was too into her feels, she felt she needed him. Biggie took advantage of that and told her that they could be together, but not exclusively. This was red flag number 3000 but Kie felt loved in the moment. Biggie disappeared for 2 weeks, showed up, got intimate with her just enough to pull her in and keep her wondering, then disappeared again for a while – the number 1 trick to make someone get obsessed with you.
“You know, I usually feel so guilty for the breakup,” I’m sorry
“Oh really?” Kie replied.
“Yes,” said Biggie. “I’m sorry that I can’t be in a committed relationship with you, even though I love you so much, actually, too much, but I’m still yours,”
She kissed him softly, enough to savor the taste of poison and empty promises, not knowing it was the last time she’d taste those lips.
Mitchelle still being in the picture, kind of seemed to enjoy all this. Or does she? She’s a little puffy than usual, it’s the stress hormone babe, he’s stressing you, we see it. Honestly, I feel like even though Mitchelle has set the bar so low, she could’ve at least done better. We had Michelle Obama and Michelle Williams from destiny child. She should’ve given us, Mitchelle Chebet the face of Rhode beauty, or Mitchelle Chebet the biggest journalist in Kenya, not some number 2 to a mere guy with nothing to offer but disappointments.
Biggie decided to stop having the intimate moments with Kie so abruptly, left her a little hurt, and decided to visit Kie whenever he needed money, or a trauma dump. He did so, a lot, barely caring about whether Kie was okay or not, or how he treated her, because he ignored her completely in public then came to rant to her place. How Kiara translated that to love is one thing I can never seem to understand. Slowly by slowly she started analyzing his behavior and saw all the lies, and all she could do was cringe when she thought about him, and squats, to take that dopamine elsewhere. She texted Biggie wanting a conversation but being the coward he was, he wasn’t willing to have the chat. Kie was disappointed but what did she expect from a guy with both mommy and daddy issues? Exactly.
She never got the closure she wanted, but I think she got it on Instagram from a photo Biggie posted with Mitchelle on his lap, he was grabbing her ass or something. She also got her closure from a dream where Biggie was dying, and another time Kie threw him off of his apartment’s rooftop. In the dream of course, Kiara is no murderer. She took that as a sign that the time has come for her to let go of this so called Biggie. Although the first red flag was in the name, who names their child Biggie, that’s probably where his mommy issues started.
It took Kiara a few months, but she finally realized
He doesn’t call or text, he’s not into you
He doesn’t want you at his place but allows every other person at his place, he’s not into you.
He tells you he’s so hot, every girl wants him, nobody wants him, he just feeds off of validation, but still red flag.
Doesn’t get along with any of his family members, red flag
He doesn’t reassure you of anything, he’s not into you.
He doesn’t care how you feel when you find a ‘Mitchelle’ at his place, girl, he hates you, RUN
This is actually based on a true story, people are suffering out here in the name of love. Anyway, this is very different than what I usually do, so, enjoy.
Caroline out.
xoxo
<333