Everyone in their 20s has a unique way of describing their experiences. Some call them the panic years, the discovery years, the follow-your-dreams years, the fun years, or the golden years, among others. What caught my attention was a recent call from one of my friends. She asked, "Hey girl, do you think I’m destined for greatness? Do you think we’re going to make it?" Safe to say, she’s in her panic years. Honestly, I can't help but feel a little envious of people who have these labels for this chapter of their lives. At least they know where they stand and what they can do about it, right?
Life takes unexpected twists and turns and I’ve come to a realization as to why my favorite curse word is fuck. Because I’m in my WTF years. I mean
WTF I gained 5 Kgs, is this a good thing? Well at least I have hips and some nice thighs. WTF I am 21, I am growing old, my teenage features, all gone. WTF I’m so over peanut butter, how did I even like it anyway? I guess my frontal lobe is developing but isn’t it supposed to develop when I’m 25? WTF I’ve never had sex. Am I afraid of men, dick, hold up- Am I asexual, or should I be lesbian? Lets put that thought aside, my mom would kill me. WTF I graduate in a year. 4 Years went by so fast. WTF I’m going to have to get a big girl job. WTF I’m broke again, now how did this happen?
The WTFs are endless but yesterday I had one moment and that was, WTF I haven’t checked in with God for almost a week. What led to this was quite funny really, because I’ve been having weird dreams that had a clear message that, “hey child turn to God,” but my executive dysfunction held me back a little while. Yes, I said dysfunction. I know you’re like no, its laziness, but dysfunction it is, I’ve been feeling quite guilty. Yesterday someone stole my mummy jeans and other than saying WTF a million times, I also said Oh my God Oh my God Oh My God,
then it hit me, OMG its been a week, who am I going to cry to, I could cry to Mz but the guy just takes everything too seriously, he’d buy me 2 pairs of jeans and some fries, I found my way to my journal and did a Dear God, that went something like,
Dear God, someone stole my jeans, and I’m sad. I know I haven’t checked in for a while, been a little lazy but here I am right. I don’t know If you can hear me because I dint know how to pray like the people in independent churches. That was the most expensive trouser I own though, anyway everything happens for a reason right. Is that a bible verse, It’d make a killer verse Anyway somehow I do feel at peace and I wont cause a scene to the building manager. Anyway, we’ll talk before I sleep
24 hours later I did get my mummy jeans though and was like mm how good is God. I’ve got this urge to figure shit together, to figure it all out right now, I mean, the version of me in my head, is this nice beautiful lady who doesn’t curse, lives somewhere in New York, became a millionaire at 23, attended the London fashion week a few days ago and took a couple of photos with Jade Thirlwall and Raye, yet here I am, figuring out whether I’m getting a big girl job or what next. That may be partially because our lecturers keep asking us what next after we graduate, but it just dawned on me that I may be in my WTF and Why TF years, But I’m experiencing a God did lifetime. I don’t know how tf my jeans got returned but God did. I don’t know how tf I’m graduating so fast but it’s the goodness of God.
Ending this with a post I saw on instagram…